Title: A Different Beginning 
Author: Joanne Collins ( m7traxlady@yahoo.com  )
Disclaimer: Not mine, they belong to William J Bell, CBS and 
other people who aren't me.
Warnings: Possibly considered to be underage sex. In Australia, the age of
 consent is sixteen, and that is the age of the characters. I don't believe 
in making a distinction between heterosexual and homosexual age of consent. 
Needless to say, this can certainly be considered a first time story. 

Author's note: I've been working on this one for a while, short as it is. 
I got the idea for it when I saw the episodes of The Bold & The Beautiful 
centering around the conception of Amber's baby with Rick, when CJ came to 
the Forrester cabin and told Rick that Amber wouldn't be coming the night 
after Rick and Amber were together for the first time. I wondered
(we weren't shown that I recall) whether Rick and CJ just headed back 
from the cabin or if they spent the night there (it *was* dark), and if
they stayed there, what might have happened. Some of the details of the 
show are probably incorrect, I'm doing this from memory, as the events 
of the show happened around nine months (give or take <g>) ago in real time. 
*****************************************************************************************

"She had to ask me, didn't she?" CJ Garrison muttered as he navigated the
road to the Forrester cabin.  Luckily it was too early for snow, he hated
driving in the snow.  "And of course I couldn't turn her down."

Amber had called him when Brooke Forrester had prevented her from going to
the cabin as she had planned to.  She had been there with Rick the night
before, and according to Rick they had made love.  That had been the
expression Rick had used when he had talked to CJ earlier.  CJ was a little
envious of his friend.  He had feelings for Amber himself, although she
obviously had eyes only for Rick.

And now Brooke Forrester had somehow succeeded in breaking them up.  CJ had
no idea how the woman had done it, and although a small part of him
wondered if he might be able to put something together with Amber now, the
rest of him was sad for his best friend.

CJ sighed as he turned into the long driveway of the Forrester cabin.  A
few minutes later he knocked on the door.

"CJ? What are you doin' here?" Rick Forrester asked.  "Amber's supposed to
be meeting me in a few minutes."

CJ gulped at the look of anticipation and, it was undeniable, love on his
friend's face.  He didn't want to be the one to make it go away.  But he
had to.

"No she's not," CJ said softly, his heart aching as Rick's face fell.

"What happened?"

"Can I come in?" CJ asked, "It's a little cold out here."

"Yeah, of course.  Sorry," Rick added as he stepped back.  "Want some tea
or something?"

"Not right now," CJ demurred as he sat on the couch, knowing that his
friend would want answers.

"What *happened*?" Rick asked, unable to hold it in any longer.

"Amber asked me to come up here and tell you...she's leaving town.  She's
agreed to go away, according to your mom."

"My mom *hates* Amber, CJ.  There has to be more to it."

"I'm sure there is.  The only problem is that neither of them told me what
it is."

Rick's face crumbled then.  CJ moved across the couch to hold him as he
broke down.  His cries were screams of anguish at first, eventually dimming
to sobs.

"I love her, CJ." He repeated the phrase over and over into CJ's shoulder.

CJ didn't know what he could do to help his friend feel better, except just
hold him like this.  So they stayed that way for hours, CJ holding Rick,
Rick clinging to CJ like he was the last link to life.  And maybe he was.
CJ was the only one who *really* knew how deeply Rick felt about Amber.

Rick calmed himself eventually.  He knew he would have to accept this,
somehow.

"Want some dinner?" Rick asked when he realised how late it was.  "There's
pasta or we could grill steaks."

"Pasta sounds good, but I'll make it.  My dad has this recipe for spaghetti
sauce that's to die for," CJ answered.

"Sounds good, and we can open one of *my* dad's bottles of Chianti," Rick
said.

CJ went to the kitchen and soon he had pots of spaghetti and sauce bubbling
on the stove.  Rick opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe and set the
table.

Soon the food was ready and CJ spooned it into a serving dish, carrying it
out to the table.

Conversation over dinner was muted, mostly requests for the butter or salt,
a polite declining of a top-up of wine, and sounds of appreciation for the
food.

"Who taught your dad that recipe?" Rick asked as they washed the dishes.

CJ was hesitant, but he supposed that he could tell Rick.  "His name was
Antonio.  They met the summer Dad spent in Italy when he was at design
school.  He was a student too, and they became friends.  Later, it
was...more."

Rick was surprised.  Clarke Garrison involved with a man?  Still, it was no
more surprising than the brief relationship between his half-brother Thorne
and James Warwick.  He was sure Stephanie had no idea that the man that she
was seeing had been briefly involved with her son.  James had been largely
on the rebound from Sheila and curious, considering his lack of sexual
experience, and Thorne had been missing Macy, wondering if the path he'd
chosen not to take in college had been the right one for him.  They had
parted as friends.

"Are you shocked?" CJ asked.

"A little surprised.  Then again, considering your father's reputation with
the ladies, it'd be surprising if he *hadn't* tried the alternative," and
Rick told CJ about James and Thorne.

"Maybe Thorne should've stayed with Warwick and stayed away from my sister
instead of starting up with her again," CJ said, half-joking.

"Yeah, maybe," Rick agreed, yawning.

CJ smothered his own yawn with his hand.

"I've got spare pyjamas," Rick offered.

"Thanks," CJ replied, he hadn't been looking forward to sleeping in his
clothes.  Rick gave him a pair of dark maroon silk pyjamas that made his
skin look paler and his hair darker.  Rick wore green silk, which made his
hair blaze gold and his skin glow.  CJ wondered why he noticed that.

Rick took the bathroom first, brushing his teeth and combing his hair, then
CJ did the same.

As CJ walked towards the bed, Rick decided to pick up the bedspread from
the floor.  Unfortunately, the moment that he pulled at it was the same
moment that CJ stepped on it.  CJ fell forward onto Rick who was pushed
back onto the bed.

After a moment of stunned silence, CJ began to laugh.

"Well," he said as he calmed slightly, "At least we had a soft landing."

"Yeah," Rick agreed, chuckling a little himself.

CJ raised his head and looked into Rick's deep blue eyes, and time seemed
to stop.  A spark of connection neither had ever felt before flew between
them.  An almost imperceptible nod from Rick, a movement from CJ and their
lips were pressed together.

The kiss seemed to last forever, and to be over in an instant.  CJ pulled
back from the kiss reluctantly.

"Whoa.  What did we just do?" he asked, stunned.

"I think we kissed each other," Rick said, almost as stunned.

"I liked it.  A lot," CJ said.

"So did I," Rick replied.

They looked at each other for a moment, the connection of friendship still
there, but so was something more.

"Is this because of what we talked about?  You know, my dad and Antonio and
Thorne and Dr Warwick?" CJ asked.

"I don't think so.  I think I kissed you because...there's a part of me
that's always wondered what it would be like."

"Me too," CJ admitted, lowering his eyes.

"And before you ask, no, you are *not* a substitute for Amber."

CJ let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding on that revelation.
"Good," he replied aloud.

"It's not something I think about all the time," Rick added, "But a few
times, I've thought, yeah, I could see kissing CJ...or more."

"I've thought about that too.  Sometimes, when I'm alone and...you know,"
CJ blushed at Rick's understanding nod, "I think about you.
It's...different.  But it's not all the time."

"Me either.  I mean, there are some beautiful women out there, and I have a
lot of fantasies about them too.  Even those I've got no chance with.  Like
Taylor."

"She is one gorgeous woman," CJ agreed, "You know, I talked to my dad about
this stuff, and he said that it's not wrong to think about it, but if I
ever decided to act on any of these...feelings, that I should be very sure
it's what I want.  And what the other person wants."

"Do you want to do more?" Rick asked, "Because I do, but if you don't, we
stop now."

"I want to do more, but...I'm nervous," CJ answered.

"You don't think I'm nervous?  I'm shaking inside.  But CJ...however this
happened, I think...we were meant to be together tonight."

"Rick...there's one thing we can't...I can't...do."

"If it's going all the way...I don't want to do that either.  Not
yet...maybe not ever with a guy.  But I do want to hold you and touch you
and...go on from there."

"Sounds good to me," CJ whispered, leaning in for another kiss.

Rick ran his fingers through CJ's hair as the kiss deepened.  CJ unbuttoned
Rick's pyjamas, moving inside the shirt to touch Rick's fair skin.  Rick
groaned as CJ's fingers brushed across his nipples, making them harden
slightly.  Rick could feel himself getting hard from the kisses and
touches, and he pulled back from CJ to slip out of the silk so it wouldn't
be ruined.  CJ did the same.  As Rick lay back down on the bed, CJ returned
to kissing him, this time on his neck.  CJ ran his lips over Rick's
shoulders and down his chest.  When he came to a nipple, he stopped and
licked, gently, then he latched onto it more firmly, biting gently with his
teeth.  Rick was writhing under him as he kissed a trail across the smooth
skin to the other nipple, then gave it the same treatment.  Rick gasped as
CJ laved his nipple, and a moment later screamed as he came, the
stimulation finally overwhelming him.  CJ kissed his way back up to Rick's
lips, then pulled back to look him in the eye.

"Wow," Rick said, "I didn't know I could..."

"Neither did I.  Was it..." CJ looked away.

"It was incredible," Rick said, pulling him close.

"I'm glad you liked it," CJ said, moaning as Rick touched his erection.

"I want to make you feel as good as you made me feel," Rick whispered as he
kissed his way over CJ's chest, laving the nipples, but not lingering long
enough to let CJ reach his peak.  He kissed his way down CJ's stomach,
flicking his tongue into his friend's navel and almost getting bucked off
the bed.  He smiled up at CJ as he kissed his way down the smooth skin,
past the dark patch of curls, and began to smell...something.  Then he
realised that he could actually *smell* CJ's arousal.  He moaned at the
thought, and he licked, gently, at the erection quivering in front of him.
It tasted the same as it smelled, musky and delicious, and with a hint of
something uniquely *CJ*.  He wrapped his lips around the head, and CJ
started a low, keening moan that sounded like his name.  He licked
tentatively, and after a few strokes of his tongue, CJ came in his mouth.
He tasted as the salty-sweet spurts erupted across his tongue, and he
decided that he liked the flavour.  Rick let CJ slip out of his mouth, then
he kissed his way back up CJ's body, ending at his lips.  

CJ kissed him back, then realised what he was tasting.  It was different,
but not bad.

"Wow," CJ said after a moment.

"Yeah, it was pretty nice," Rick agreed with a smile.

"Rick...was this...is it only tonight?"

"CJ...I have to be honest.  This was incredible.  Completely wonderful.
And I want to sleep in your arms tonight...if you still want to after I say
this."

"What?" CJ asked, already knowing part of it.

"I love Amber.  I want to be with her.  I want to find her if she *has*
left town and to stop her if she hasn't.  But if you want to go down the
mountain right now, I'll give you chains for your tires."

CJ considered for a moment, but he knew his decision had been made when he
had driven up here tonight.

"Tomorrow, we go back to being best friends again, and I'll help you find
Amber, whatever we have to do.  But tonight, I want to hold you and touch
you and kiss you as much as we can."

"I like the sound of that," Rick whispered, kissing him again.

Nothing more was said for a very long time after that.

*****************************************************
			END